Again - Part II

"NIKKI!", you hear over and over blaring from your phone. You pick it up, "Huh?". "What happened? You ok?", Cherry asks concerned. "He...he...uh...sent me room service", you state in disbelief still staring at the plane ticket. "Well, at least he fed you this time. You fucked him didn't you? I know you did. Can't say that I blame you...". You don't hear a word she said as you cut her off, "He left me a plane ticket to LA...". Your voice just trails off. Cherry is silent for a moment. "He loves me Cherry. He said he loves me too", you ramble getting excited. "A plane ticket? Damn!! You must've put it on him...hold up...wait a minute. TOO?! Nikki, PLEASE tell me you didn't tell him you loved him. Please tell me you're smarter than that". You are silently smiling. You don't care what she thinks. Philip said he loves you too and wants to see you. "You are the smartest dumb person I've ever met in my entire life". Again not listening you reply, "Thank you". You are floating on cloud nine. "I should call him and thank him for breakfast and the ticket", you continue babbling. "Uh Nikki, you ain't seriously thinking about going though, are you?", Cherry asks already knowing the answer. "Let me call you back Cherry". "You are something else heifer. You seriously gonna go to LA aren't you?". "Cherry I love you and I'll call you back. Bye!". You hang up and dial Philip. The phone goes directly to voicemail. "Hey...good morning Philip", you start smiling so hard your ears are wet. "I wish you could've moved your flight back but I understand. Thank you for breakfast." You giggle, "You don't forget anything do you? It looks delicious". You are silent for a moment. "I got the plane ticket as well. Thank you. We can talk about it later. Traveling mercies Baby. Get home safely. Love you". You hang up still smiling. Sitting down on the bed you grab your coffee and sip happily.

You are back home unpacking when there is a knock at your door. Before you can make your way to the door, you hear a key turning. 'Cherry', you think to yourself. You hear her come in, close the door and immediately start in on your broken promise. Entering the doorway to your bedroom she mocks, "I promise to guard my heart". Rolling your eyes, the thought of changing your locks runs briefly through your mind. "Don't start", you state not even bothering to look up. She plops down on your bed trying to force eye contact. You don't acknowledge her and continue to unpack. "Look at you. All glowing and shit". You let a small smile slide across your lips. "Uh huh, keep ignoring me. I know you slept with him Nikki. You don't have to admit it. I hope it was worth it". You hang your dresses up to take to the cleaners and continue to ignore her. "So, what did he say when you called?", she asks laying across your bed. You sigh, "He didn't pick up and he hasn't returned my call". You're trying to conceal the hurt. You don't wanna hear 'I told you so'. Your heart can't take it right now. Cherry sits up, "Oh, he probably still on the plane. I'm sure he'll call you when he lands". You breathe a sigh of relief. That thought hadn't crossed your mind. I mean with his previous track record of love 'em and leave 'em, who would blame you? You are finished putting everything away and Cherry is patiently waiting for you to spill the beans. You sit on the bed and stare off. "Well...", she insists. You roll your eyes and head to the kitchen. You come back and plop down on the bed with 2 wine glasses and a bottle of merlot. "Where do I start...".

It's Tuesday evening and you still haven't heard from Philip. You are having that feeling of déjà vu. You hate yourself for falling for him AGAIN. You text Cherry, 'U were rite. I shoulda listened'. 'It's only been 2 days. Chill! He's prob just settling in'. You want to believe her. You start digging for a semblance of hope at the bottom of the pint of Talenti Tahitian Vanilla Bean Gelato you've been demolishing. You don't find it. You have to work in the morning so you drag yourself to bed. You toss and turn. 10:33pm. 11:01pm. 12:17am. You're still wide awake. You sit up and reach for the bottle of Benadryl just as your phone rings. You glance at it, it's Philip. You think of letting it go to voicemail but decide to answer it and see what he has to say. "Hello", you answer with no emotion whatsoever. "Hey beautiful", he starts. You cut him off, "It's late. What do you want?". There is a moment of silence on the other end. "Oh damn! I keep forgetting that you're 3 hours ahead of me. Baby Girl I'm sorry. It's after midnight where you are, right?". You don't answer. "I'm sorry I'll call you back tomorrow". You still don't answer. "Nikki? You still there?". "Yeah, I'm here", you answer standoffishly. Philip notices. "You ok? Did I wake you?". "No". He sighs, "What did I do this time? I swear Nikki I did EVERYTHING I could to get another flight. I swear! I knew you'd think about the last time but I swear I didn't have a choice...". He's rambling. You stop him, "Stop. Just stop talking Philip". "Ok", he agrees quietly. "I called you Sunday morning and you're just now returning my call". "Baby, I...". "I'm NOT finished! You leave me a plane ticket to LA and write 'I love you too' but yet it takes you TWO DAYS to return my call. And I'm supposed to believe things are different than before?" "Nikki, I'm sorry the flight got back late and I had a couple meetings with the label. I was going to call you back as soon as I got the chance". "Don't play with me Philip. I hate it when people lie to me!". "I'm not lying! I swear!". "Look, if I'm just your 'DC chick' then be honest with me and tell me. I'm a big girl. I can take it". "Nikki, stop it. You know you mean more to me than that". "Do I?". "Yes you do". Silence creeps onto the line. He sighs and whispers, "...I'm falling in love with you". Your face flushes. Hearing him say the words causes tingles to sprint down your spine. "I want to see you. That's why I left you the ticket". You are silent. "When can you come out?". "I don't know, Philip. I have to see", you whisper. "Ok. I understand. Well, I'll let you get to sleep. Good night Baby Girl", he whispers. "Good night Philip". You hang up and immediately drift off to sleep.

You can't focus at work. Philip's voice is stuck in your head. 'I'm falling in love with you' is replaying over and over again. You text Cherry, 'U HAV 2 COME OVER AFTER WORK'. She calls you immediately. You close your office door and answer. Before you can say hello, she explodes with, "WHY WHAT'S WRONG?!". "Jesus chick! Nothing. I just really need to talk to you". She sighs, "What did he say to you?". "Wha...how do you know it has anything to do with him?". She's silent. You can envision the face she's giving you and chuckle. "I get off late. I'll be there around 11:30. Have food. Cheese sticks...and wine". "Yes ma'am", you agree and hang up. You walk around the building and try your best to keep your mind off of him. It doesn't work. The day is dragging on and on. You do your last round of meds before the end of the day. Just as you sit at your desk to start your documentation, your phone rings. It's Philip. Chills run through your body as you answer, "Hello". "Hey beautiful! I know you're working but I just needed to hear your voice". Your smile is as big as the Pacific Ocean. He continues, "I hope your shift is going well". "Hey Baby. It's going ok. It's very sweet of you to call". You can hear him smile over the phone. "I won't keep you. I know you're busy. I'll call you tonight, ok?". "Ok", you smile. "Love you Baby Girl", his raspy voice replies making love to your ear drum. You smile and hear him end the call, not waiting for your response. You sit at your desk smiling as you try to focus on your documentation.

It's after 11:30pm and Cherry walks through the door of your place. She looks exhausted as she plops down on the couch. "That bad huh?", you ask handing her a glass of her favorite cab. She's closer to you than your own blood sister. You know she'd much rather be at home in bed but she loves you. She came here instead to listen to you talk about a man who you love but she doesn't approve of and you love her for that. Smiling, you go to the oven and retrieve her cheese sticks that are warming. "Here you go chick", you chide handing her a bowl full. She smiles, kicks off her shoes and sits back in her 'Ok, heifer I'm listening pose'. You take a deep breath and start. "I want to go to LA". You wait for her to react but she doesn't even look up from the bowl. You continue. "I put in for 2 weeks vacation. I haven't told him yet but I'm leaving in a week". That did it. She places the bowl down and stares at you. "You're joking right?". You look away as you sit on the love seat. "Nikki, you don't know this guy. All you know is what you see in the media and what he tells you. AND TWO WEEKS?! Come on Nikki. I could maybe see a couple days but no. HELL NAH. You ain't going". You don't look in her direction but begin to defend yourself. "I've been alone with him plenty of times. He's not going to do anything to hurt me. He's not like that...". Cherry cuts you off, "He's not going to hurt you? Need I remind you of the numerous times you've cried over this nigga?". You ignore her and continue. "I love you girl and you know I value your opinion but I'm going and you can't stop me". You can feel her eyes throwing daggers in your direction. She sighs, "I don't understand why you wanted me here if you already made up your mind". You look back at her and start to respond but your phone rings. Cherry knows who it is by the smile on your face. She sits back and takes a big sip from her glass. "Hey", you whisper. "Hey, Baby Girl. How are you?". "I'm ok. Sitting here with my girl Cherry". She throws you a disapproving glance. Philip pipes up, "Oh yeah, the one you always talk about, right?". You smile because clearly he listens to you when you talk. "Yeah, that's the one". "Don't be talking about me", Cherry says loudly. You laugh as Philip says, "Oh Cherry honey, it's all good things". "She can't hear you Bae. Hold on". Cherry is giving you the death stare as you put your phone on speaker. "Go ahead Philip. You're on speaker". "Oh ok. Hey Cherry! Nikki talks about you a lot". Cherry isn't pleased. "Oh really?", she asks with attitude. You shoot her a 'chill out' glance. "Oh no, it's all good things. Nothing bad. I promise". "Uh huh. Whatever", she responds standing to get another glass of wine. "Did I say something wrong?", he asks sincerely. "No", you respond. "She's just grumpy". Philip chuckles, "Nah, she sounds like she's upset with me. Cherry what's wrong?". She stops in her tracks and walks over to the phone. Snatching it out of your hand she starts, "First of all I'd like to say you're a fucking dog for doing my girl dirty like that before. How you gonna wine her, dine her, fuck her and then leave and don't speak to her for months?". You jump up in horror and grab for the phone. You can't believe she went there. Philip is stuttering, "OH...well...it wasn't...I mean...I was...", Cherry cuts him off and continues to chew him a new one. "Then you call her out the blue and ask her out months later and against my advice she does it AGAIN". You are struggling to get the phone out of her hand. "Cherry now hold up! Let me...", Philip tries to interject. "Now she thinks y'all in love because you wanna fuck her in the comfort of your own bed. I don't think so honey. Fuck you! She's not coming to LA". Cherry drops the phone on the couch and saunters off to grab the bottle of cab like nothing happened. You are shaking so bad you can't grasp the phone. Philip is silent. You are certain he hung up after that tirade. You could choke her right now. "Cherish!! Oh my God!! How could you?!". She looks at you and shrugs with indifference. "I said what needed to be said. I regret nothing". Tears come to your eyes. To your surprise Philip whispers, "Well, I asked what was wrong and she told me". Your voice shaking, you reply in shock, "Philip? I thought you hung up". "No, I'm still here". Cherry is back on the couch sipping her cab happily. You glare at her, half hoping she chokes. "I'll take you off speaker, hold on...". "No, no don't. Give me a chance to explain myself. Nikki you need to hear this too". You sit on the love seat with tears brimming. Cherry is sipping with that 'I don't give a fuck' look on her face. "Well...I do owe you an explanation for last time Nikki. It's not going to feel good to hear me say this but I have to be honest with you if I hope to ever have this relationship work". You smile thinking to yourself, 'He's trying'. No matter what he says you are ready to forgive him and start over, pretending it never happened. He sighs deeply, "Ok". He pauses then stumbles over the words trying to come out of his mouth. "Well...last time, when we hooked up...uh...I mean, when we were...umm...you know. Uh, I was sorta like...kinda with this girl. I mean we were on the verge of breaking up anyway and you were so fine in that skirt. I mean how could I not...". You cut him off immediately, "Wait, wait, WHAT?! So I was your...side chick Philip?! Is that what you're saying?!". You weren't expecting this at all. The tears spill over your eyelids and fall on to your lap. "No Nikki not all! I mean...technically...but not really...I knew you were different". You are numb. It hurts like a BITCH to know the truth but it explains a lot. Cherry was sitting on the couch chilling with her legs crossed but seeing how hurt you are, she makes her way over to you. Trying to hide your sobs, you respond, "I was different? More like stupid". You can't help but cry. You feel so foolish. Cherry places her arm on your shoulder for comfort but you shrug her off, "Don't you touch me! Get the fuck away from me!". You jump up and walk away from her. Cherry knows you well enough to realize you mean it. She also knows you're just angry and need some space. She stands and gathers her things. "I'll call you tomorrow", she states plainly as she walks out the door. You roll your eyes and try to figure out how to respond to what you just heard. You have no words. "Philip, I have to go", you start. He cuts you off, "Please don't. You didn't let me finish". "You've said enough Philip. I don't wanna hear anymore". "But Nikki please just listen". You are silently crying. He mistakes your silence for agreement and continues. "After being with you, I knew I had to leave her. I knew I wanted to be with you. I just didn't know how to do it". You choke out, "Don't ever call me again Philip". "Nik...", he starts as you hang up the phone and chuck it across the room. You run into your room, lay across your bed and cry yourself to sleep as you hear the phone ring in the distance. 

You wake up and call out of work. You look and feel like death. Your sleep was broken by phone calls from Philip all night. He was relentless. Calling and texting your cell then calling your home phone trying to talk to you. You haven't listened to any of his messages or read any of his texts. You don't care about what he has to say and have nothing to say to him. You make your way to the shower and just stand under the warm water. After getting out, you don't bother getting dressed. You put on your kimono and head to the kitchen to make some coffee. You find your phone on the floor of the living room near the window. 25 missed calls, 10 voicemails and 50 text messages all from Philip. Your phone rings, you glance down. It's Cherry. You think about letting it go to voicemail. You're still mad at her for starting all of this. You were perfectly happy being blinded by ignorance. You swallow that lump in your throat and hit answer. You don't say a word and neither does she for a few seconds. "I know you're still pissed off but I just wanted to make sure you were ok". You contemplate hanging up but you know she'd just come by so you answer, "I'm fine. Goodbye". You hang up the phone and sip your coffee. The phone rings again. You pick it up (not looking) thinking it's Cherry again, "I said I'm FINE damn it!". "Whoa! You don't sound fine", Philip admits. You are surprised and annoyed by his voice. You refuse to speak to him and begin to hang up. "Nikki please don't hang up. Please let me explain". You hang up anyway and silence your phone. He calls right back but you ignore it. How could you be so stupid? All this time, in the back of your mind, you knew he had someone else. You slept with him and then he takes off and doesn't contact you for 6 months. I mean what else could it have been? "You are dumb as hell, Nicole", you tell yourself.

A few days go by and things are somewhat back to normal. You leave work and arrive home ready to hit the shower and crawl into bed like you've done everyday for the past few nights. You open the door and smell pasta and marinara sauce coming from your kitchen. Cherry meanders out of your kitchen with a smile. "Hey", she whispers cautiously. You have only spoken 3 words to her since she laid into Philip the other night. You don't acknowledge her at all and head to your bedroom. She follows you. "I made stuffed shells", she sings. You continue to ignore her. "I know you haven't been eating. So, I figured I'd make you a little something". You walk by her and head into the bathroom for a shower. You stand in the shower listening to Adel on repeat. You're crying so hard, you can't decipher your tears from the shower spraying water on your face. Your heart is aching. It hurts so bad because you know deep down, even though he hurt you, you still love him. You are so deep into your feelings, you don't hear Cherry barge in. "Ok. Enough is enough", she orders shutting off the water and wrapping a towel around you. "You've been in here sulking for an hour. Come on and eat". As much as you don't want to admit it, you know she's right. You step out and start to dry off while she goes to grab you some clothes. A few minutes later you are both sitting on the couch. She's eating while you are picking at your food. It tastes delicious it's just your heart hurts too much to eat. Cherry looks over at you with sympathy and sighs. "When's the last time he called?". You don't look at her and shrug, "I don't know. I silenced my phone because he won't stop calling me". Cherry looks a little surprised, "Really?! I'd thought he would've given up by now. It's been a few days. What is he saying?". You shrug again. "What do you mean?", she asks. "I mean I don't know. I just delete everything. I don't listen to his voicemails or read his texts". Cherry slides closer to you. "Nikki, look, I'm sorry that you were hurt by what happened but I'm not sorry for anything that I said. You needed to know the truth". A tear rolls down your cheek because you know she loves you and is telling the truth. You look up at her and give her a half-smile. She smiles back at you and says, "Now eat heifer! I ain't slave in that kitchen for you to waste my damn food". You chuckle for the first time in days.

A few hours later, you are feeling a little better. "I hate to bring this up but what are you gonna do about LA? I mean you have your hotel booked and everything". You shrug again. You honestly hadn't thought about it. Before you can answer, there is a knock at your door. You hop up and open it thinking it's the UPS guy with your Amazon package. You have a bad habit of shopping when you're upset or sad. It's not. "Nikki", Philip says relieved stepping close to you with his arms wide. You immediately step back. "What the hell are you doing here?", Cherry asks before you can get it out. She pushes you out of the way and refuses to let him cross the threshold. "Nice to finally meet you Cherry", Philip smiles as he extends his hand for a shake. Cherry crosses her arms and stands her ground. You push her aside and stand arms crossed, face to face with your...whatever the hell he is. "What are you doing here Philip?". "Nikki, I've been calling and texting you for days but you haven't responded at all. I was really worried. So...here I am. I'm so glad you're ok", he grabs hold of you and hugs you tight. Your body betrays you and begins to relax in him arms. Cherry pulls you back, "Well, you see she's fine so BYE". She attempts to close the door but Philip blocks it. "I also came here to talk to my Nikki. I need to explain some things". You turn away from him. "Just give me five minutes, Baby Girl. Just five. Please". It's the sincerity of the 'please' that gets you. "Fine. Five minutes", you say looking at the clock. He steps inside and glances at Cherry. "Any chance we could be alone?", he asks. Cherry sits on the couch and turns to face him, "Hell no". He smiles and nods, "Ok. I understand". Standing in front of you he takes both of your hands in his. You look away but he's staring directly at you. "Baby girl, yes I had a girlfriend when I first met you. Yes, I cheated on her with you. Yes, I was wrong for not telling you I was seeing someone or calling you after we slept together. I'm an asshole". His voice trails off as you hear Cherry state, "You got that right!". He continues pulling you close, "BUT she found out about you because after we met, you were always on my mind. She knew I cheated and I decided not to lie to her because I wanted to be with you". Tears are falling freely from your eyes. He caresses your face and uses his thumbs to wipe away your tears. You break away from him and respond, "If that's true then why did it take you so long to call me? It was 6 months Philip. SIX FUCKING MONTHS!". He sighs, "I told her it was over. That I wanted her out but she said she was pregnant. I had to take care of my responsibilities...or so I thought. That's why I let her stay but after a few months, I discovered she was lying. By that time, I thought you had forgotten all about me and moved on but God knows I NEVER forgot about you". Cherry stands and begins to walk toward the both of you saying, "Your five minutes are up". You glance in his direction. Dropping to his knees in-front of you, he holds your hands and continues with sincerity. "Woman, you left a mark on me that I could never erase. You are in my spirit. Everything I saw reminded me of you. I fell in love with you that night we met and I'm still in love with you now". You're heart is melting. Cherry can see your change of heart and heads back to the couch. He stands and kisses you softly. "Please forgive me. If you let me love you I swear I'll never hurt you again." He looks at Cherry, "That's all I have to say". You are silent and still trying to process everything you just heard. Philip can't read you so, he turns to leave. "Thanks for listening. I guess...I...". He opens the door and begins to walk away. Turning to face you he smiles, "Good night Baby Girl" and leaves. You glance at Cherry. She's nodding her head toward the door encouraging you to stop him from leaving. You run out the door and catch him just before he gets on the elevator, "Philip wait!". You throw your arms around his neck and kiss his lips with every ounce of passion in your body. Surprised, he smiles at you. You smirk up at him and ask, "And just where do you think you're going?" 

You both head back to your place arm in arm. Cherry is cleaning up in the kitchen when you both walk in. "Make yourself at home Philip", you smile leading him to the sofa. "Thanks". "Can I get you something?", you offer. "Um, what is that heavenly aroma?", he asks sniffing the air. You chuckle and smile at Cherry through the breakfast bar cut out. "Cherry made me dinner. Stuffed shells". "Oh nice!", he exclaims. You can tell he's hungry but before you can ask, Cherry brings out a plate for you both to share. "Thought y'all might be hungry", she whispers. She winks at you as she walks back into the kitchen. You cut a piece of the shell with some stuffing and feed it to Philip. His eyes light up, "Mmmm. Oh my God! That's good!". You giggle, "Yeah my girl ain't no slouch in the kitchen". "I see", Philip says running his fingers through the sauce. You playfully smack his hand. He smiles and places a small amount of sauce on your nose. You scrunch your nose about to wipe it away. Philip holds your upper arms and kisses your nose making sure all the sauce is gone. Your body warms with his kiss. You smile feeling your temperature rise 5 degrees instantly and continue to feed him. After a few bites, you intentionally miss and leave some sauce on the corner of his mouth. He chuckles and attempts to wipe it off but you place the plate on the coffee table and quickly grab his hand. Smirking you slowly slide your body onto his lap and begin to lick the sauce from the corner of his mouth. He moans softly and pulls you closer. His tongue finds yours and soon you are both entangled in each others arms. "Oh ew! Ok, I'm outta here", Cherry states disgusted as she walks in on your make out session. You jump up. "Oh sorry...we were just", she stops you. "You don't have to explain anything to me. That's your man and this is your place". Hugging you quick, she waves to Philip and walks to the door. "Have fun. I'll call you tomorrow". The door closes and Philip pulls you back down on his lap. "Come here woman", he whispers in that raspy voice that makes your panties instantly moist. You smile and surrender yourself to him...again.